I got a great question the other day. A client asked how to talk to her parents
about their money. I’m writing
this as an answer for her but the message applies to both generations.
Some parents readily share their financial and succession
planning. Some don’t – either because
they keep it to themselves or because they don’t have a plan.
That puts you in a bind.
What your parents want but don’t say, they probably don’t get. You could be asked for significant personal time
and financial commitments. Resentments
arise from guessing on short notice when you could have had facts years before.
I recommend you ask forcefully enough to get their attention
– maybe something like, “Mom, have you thought about what you might need from
us down the road?” Be tactful but let
him/her/they know this isn’t idle chat.
Responses vary widely.
Sometimes, parents open-up and the family gets closer. Other times, dad
just won’t talk. Keep working at it.
This isn’t just about helping them. It’s about protecting yourself. Together, we crafted a plan for you to
retire, educate your kids and meet your commitments. It didn’t include ending your career to
rummage through your parents’ basement for old tax records. It’s hard on siblings too. Usually the closest and/or best-heeled bear
most of the load and they will resent it if nobody asked first.
These are sensitive conversations but you have to have
them. A botched succession can wipe-out
years of careful investing and do irreparable damage to your family. I’ve seen it more times than I’ve liked.
Let me help. I can
act as a facilitator with your family since I know a lot of the things you need
to discuss. I can also introduce you and
your parents to legal and tax advisors when you decide who does what.
Just call if you need me.
Skip
PS Ask me about a
“Family Love Letter”. sh
Bonus blog:
Family succession is a business. There are things of value. There are things you need to keep going. Personnel skills are not uniform. Neither are expectations. Some of the kids might benefit from remedial
training before they inherit a multiple of their current net worth. There may also be ambitious third husbands to
manage.
You won’t get all of the answers in a day but start the
process. sh
As always, the opinions expressed here are mine and don’t
necessarily represent the views of LPL Financial or anyone else.
